French Fun
by daughteralucard
Summary: A part of the Malkavian series. King is board and Mirai isn't willing to go back home any time soon. What happens when you get two rivals together with a bottle of liquor only legal in Europe? Read and find out. Older T for illegal content


Okay I know I should update on Screw up but I just had this idea pop up in my head while reading a review for my Cowboy bebop story. People love drunkenness in characters, alcohol can do funny things to people so I wrote this side story as one of the Malkavian series. What can I say I miss writing it. So here it is and I hope you enjoy!

Drunken Masters

King Vegeta, ruler of the saiyan race, the first rebel against the tyrant Frieza, a Hell escapee, a proud strong king, was board out of his ever loving mind. He had nothing to do. Cell was no longer a problem, all he did was train, eat, train, eat, train, sleep, wake up, then repeat. His life had become a broken record in the last year sense he arrived on the look out. He needed excitement, he needed fun, he needed a worthy opponent, he needed his half breed grandson. The two didn't really like each other but managed to entertain each other when boredom reared its ugly head in their paths. He shot off into the sky and headed toward West City where lay the famous Capsule Corp.

……………………………………

Mirai lay on the bed by himself. He looked up at the gun hanging on the wall across from him. He grimaced at the unholy memory of that devil mockingbird he and his father shot then got arrested for shortly after. That damned devil bird had to go, who cares if it was an endangered species! He looked up at the clock and saw it was….3:30 IN THE AFTERNOON! He was woken by Vegeta earlier that day around 8 in the morning. He told him he had to be out of bed, dressed, eaten, and in the gravity room by 10 am. Mirai made the bad decision of going back to bed thinking he was only going to close his eyes for a moment.

At this point the only thing Mirai could really do was stare at the ceiling and swear at himself in every language he knew. _What do I do, _he asked.

_Well _said the mischievous Jester _you could go hid for a few days hahahaha but he would hunt you down and kill you like a wild animal!_

_Don't be ridiculous _said the depressing Mira _he isn't that nice._

_Mira is right _thought Mirai _he is going to do horrible bad things if I run and keep my alive for days._

Mirai decided that he would have to go with Jester's plan sense no one else could think one up. He got up, got dressed, and jumped out of his window. He landed on the ground with a satisfied grin on his face. He walked forward about four steps before bumping into a hard, short, rock like thing. He opened his eyes. The color drained from his face when he saw an unamused saiyan prince standing with his arms crossed and looking angry. "Where you running away boy," he asked dangerously.

"Is that a trick questiong," asked Mirai with a stupid look on his face. Vegeta looked even angrier, if at all possible and began pacing towards Mirai who in turned backed up. He was flat against the wall of the house before Vegeta stopped about an inch from him. "Just answer me this," he said barely above a whisper, "did you go back to sleep? Now be careful how you answer. You are a good liar but I know when you are lying and when you aren't."

"Um, said question in questioning cannot be answered for I am in my constitutionally protected rights not to discriminate myself by any means of now or hear after."

"What?"

"Means ask me no question's I'll tell you no lies." Vegeta blinked in disbelief. It took a moment before it finally sunk in. It was like talking to Goku about black wholes in outer space (the most fun typing and looking shit up on the net I ever had). Mirai just walked passed Vegeta as he stood there not really sure how to react.

…………………………………………………….

King Vegeta landed in the heart of West City and saw Mirai just walked down the street. King walked up to him and they stared each other down for a moment. "What are you up to," he asked not in a mean way, just a casual way.

"Nothing much," he said, "just pissing Vegeta off as usual."

"Ah, want to do something?"

"Sure," he said, "nothing else better to do."

……………………………………………

Mirai and King had landed in Paris in only a few hours. Three shots of Absinthe and they were both gone. "Okay," said a drunken little prince, "you remember the words?"

"No," responded his grandfather, "but lest sing it."

"Okay here we go. The roof the roof the roof is on fire."

"The roof the roof the roof is on fire."

"We don't need no water let the mother fucker burn! Burn mother fucker! Burn," the sung together.

"Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy," said King

"I'm not old or new but middle school 5th grade like Junior high," said Mirai

"I don't know mofo peepeeps fucka givin props to my old cushy fly."

"But I don't know cause I'm the other white meat known as kid funky fry."

Then they sang together, "Ya I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye but if I crash into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine. Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own Wookie. I'm the root of all that's evil but you can call me Crooky."

They sang the chorus together giggling like a couple of idiots. They laughed insanely. At what they were not really sure but it didn't matter. King continued the song. "Yo, Yo, this hard core ghetto gangster takes a lot of practice."

Trunks then joined in, "I'm not black like Berry White but white like Frank Black is." They laughed some more and took a fourth shot. Trunks kept the song going after eating down the sugar. "So if man is 5 and the devil is 6 then that must make me 7 this honey is going to heavy."

"But if I go to hell, though I hope I've done well, I'll spend my days with JFK."

"Michael Ray"

"and Lawrence Welking."

Then they song together, "Kerk, Kojack, that Mark Twain, Jimmy Hendricks, Poltergeist, and Webster Yaggy Manuel because he's the anti-christ!" The bartender saw they had enough shots and took the bottle. There are only so many you can have before it kills you anyway. They both staggered out the door with their arms on each others shoulder holding each other up. They continued the song in the streets of Paris. Mirai smooched his grandfather on the cheek. King gave him a smooch on the cheek back and they both tripped over each other on the street. They helped each other out.

Mirai looked over to his left and saw the lucky charms man wearing a dress singing. Mirai pointed and laughed. "What's so funny," he asked.

"Can't you see the little Irishman in the dress? I saw him on a box once."

"No," he said, "but I do see a bright pink lamb with a yellow ribbon doing a Russian dance."

"Where?"

"Right their," he said pointing at Mirai's left.

"Oh, the Irishman is the sheep. OMFG ITS AN IRISH CROSSDRESSING SHEEP DOIING A RUSSIAN JIGG!"  
"Did you actually just say 'omfg'?"

"Yes," he said. They both cracked up again and took flight. "You know we shouldn't fly, we could get an F.W.I!"

"A what?"

"Flying While Intoxicatering."

"Intoxicatering? Is that even a word?"

"It is now." They both laughed and landed. "Let's take a car."

"A brilliant idea. I'll drive."

"No, no, you are too drunk. I'll drive."

"No, no, I'm fine you're the one who is too drunk."

"I'm not as think as you drunk…ah I'm not as drunk as you think."

"No you're right man, I'm to drunk, you drive."

"Let's find a car," said Mirai as they looked around. They saw a car with the keys still in it. Mirai smiled and staggered forward dragging his king with him. He broke the window in and tried to jump in. He jumped up but fell on his ass. "The-the-the window is to high, help me." King got on one knee and let Mirai step on it.

"Okay, hurry up, so you can help me climb in," said King as Mirai stepped up and crawled into the window. Mirai successfully got in and held his hand out. King grabbed his hand and pulled himself in. He crawled over Mirai. Mirai started the car and put it in drive and drove it through a house. "Shh," he said to his grandfather, "if we are quiet maybe the people living here wont notice."

The only problem was they crashed into the dinning room while they were enjoying dinner. They looked a bit shocked then started screaming at them in French. Mirai started the car and drove through the dinning into the house. He managed through the dinning room, the kitchen, through a wall to the living room, and out the front door. They car finally couldn't take anymore and broke down. King opened the door to run away. Mirai also opened the door but stood to fast and landed face first in the street. King turned around sloppily to save him.

"Go without me soldier," he said in a southern accent, "you're a good man Wilko you must go without me and tell my story." King started laughing histarically.

"You are so drunk."

"Go! Tell the story, presell the movie rights! Then go see it because it's a movie and all your friends are going!"

"I'll never forget you General," he said. His voice cracked a bit and he began 'running' in a slow motion to make it look cooler.

"CRUNCHITIZE ME CAPTN'" said Mirai before he passed out. King managed to slip on nothing and fell down. "Gotta watch that air," he said, "it's tricky." King then passed out.

………………………………………………..

Vegeta heard the phone ringing over and over. When it was obvious that no one was going to pick it up he answered it. "What do you want," he snapped.

"You have a collect call from Paris, would you like to accept?"

"yea whatever," he said grumpily. Mirai had not come home last night and it was pissing him off.

"Bonjour," said a mans voice, "Misure Prince Vegeta?"

"Yes," said Vegeta. He was a little skeptic to say it was him because he did not recognize the voice and wondered how they would know him by title.

"We have two prisoners here to say they know you."

"Who are they?"

"A misure King Vegeta and misure Mirai Trunks. Do you know these clowns?"

"Clowns? What did they do?"

"They had a shot to many of Absinthe, stole a car, drove it through the owners house, then disturbed the peace further."

"In that case no, I don't know them." He hung up the phone and Bulma walked in with the baby in her hands.

"Who was that," she asked.

"Wrong number in Paris," he said.

"Paris?"

"Someone looking for family in America is all."

"Oh, well, okay. Have you seen Mirai?"

"No," he said.

"Oh, if you see him tell I was looking for him."

"Will do," said Vegeta smiling to himself. He had a feeling it would be a little while before he saw his son again any way.

………………………………………

So what did you think? Good? Bad? BTW for those of you who are wondering, you can have up to 4-5 shots before Absinthe it actually becomes a poison. How do I know this? Some things are just best left unknown.


End file.
